This is the fist article of an ongoing series about relationships, what they are, and how to get what you want.
Where's My Dream Man & Why Does It Seem So Hard to Find Him?
I get this question all the time and I'd be lying out my teeth if I said I have never asked the same questions.. multiple times.
The subject of relationships has never been one that I've felt inclined to write about. Mainly because I've had the desire to keep some portion of my life private. However, I've changed, things have changed, and frankly I just don't care anymore. Yay! me for being comfortable with being vulnerable!
If you follow my online content, chances are you know more about me than my birth family, so whats a lil hot n' juicy added in?! So without further ado, here I go at sharing my fabulous gay life with you. ..maybe if I channel enough about this topic a hot man will show up with flowers..and stay for awhile! haha
First off, I'd like to offer to you an opportunity to blow up all of your preconceived believes about what a relationship is. An opportunity to let go of societal projections, concepts, and ideas regarding what relationships are, along with all of the categories and labels that you've collected since birth.
When We Let Go of Limiting Concepts & Beliefs,
Doorways to Infinite Possibilities Show Up.
All You Must Do is Open The Door & Walk Through
I grew up in a big ol' mormon family, so believe me, I've let go of a ton of crap around relationships as well as being gay in general. Simply to accept myself for who I am and to love myself, I have had to let go of projections from my family, religion, society, friends, the gay community, you name it.
Everyone has a box of limiting beliefs to offer to you. And it is only until you listen to yourself more than others, that you truly know who you are.
Letting go of judgement towards yourself around relationships and your history with them is a first step towards being more confidant. And letting go of self esteem crap could be the biggest shift you've ever made. These two releases alone will change everything.
When you let go of judgment towards yourself, you open up the possibilities to attract to you, more of what you want in a relationship. Many of you are blocking yourself from attracting "the one" to you because of this judgment towards yourself.
Just let it go! I understand that it can seem hard to let go of self esteem garbage that you've most likely carried with you since your childhood, but just know that it can be as easy as you want it to be, or hard. Your choice.
Everyone is attracted to different body types, personalities, quirks...very few people that are sincere and being themselves are actually attracted to the "perfect model" type. In fact this type is actually gross to a lot of people. So relax and accept yourself for who you are right now. Someone..no, many many people out there are attracted to you, right now!
Attachment is Giving Your Power Away
& Limiting Your Possibilities
Growing up mormon and in this american society, I got the idea of a fairytale relationship of one guy that's faithfully committed to me for the rest of my life stuck in my head. It sounded real nice to me, but then I realized that this concept is simply attachment and limitations. It was not until I let go of this box, that I opened myself up to much more possibilities.
I spent my entire twenties attached to one guy, furiously trying to make
it all work out. You see, this guy and I met when we were still in our
teens and we fell in love instantly. We were perfect for each other, but
what does that really mean? It means that my belief system and his
belief system lined up just enough that we matched desires of what we
wanted to experience and we did just that. We had over ten years of
Everyone has their own path through life. When we make plans to be with someone forever, what we are doing is locking ourselves into and making ourselves dependent upon the path of another. Add in two people that are using their clairscentience to tap into each other (without conscious awareness), and you have a hot mess of a relationship. ..my entire twenties.
Let Go of Comparison & Gain Infinite Possibilities
When seeking out a compatible mate, it is common practice to compare everyone to you and where you are with your individual life. We think to ourselves: oh that guy is too good for me because he has a "perfect" body. Oh this person would work because they have similar hang-ups and beliefs as me. Oh hey! You like the stuff I like, and have the same opinions as me...we can sit and bitch together about the same stuff! Yay! We're perfect for each other!! Sound familiar? It's okay if it does, it's just habit of comparison and low self esteem - habits from duality.
My decade long relationship ended for good when my partner decided to leave me for another guy and move across country, leaving me with his mom..and no one else I knew within thousands of miles. That wasn't the first time he left me for another guy but it was the last and I was damn sure of it. I had pulled myself out of my emotional gutter just enough to respect myself enough to know that I didn't need him to be happy. This understanding was a slow process however and I really didn't understand the decade long back and forth escapades until just this year - three plus years later.
You do not need anyone else to make you happy and until you accept this, you will be attracting to you people that want to attach to you and give to you their power. And You Will Be Doing The Same.
My entire twenties I was playing a game with this guy. A game of giving my power away to him and him giving his power to me. This is the essence of what a relationship in duality is all about but let me explain more so that you grasp what I'm saying.
When you are in your power, you know who you are, you own that you are the creator of all your experiences, and you own that you have full control over how you feel about and respond to life.
A relationship based in duality is one where you feel the need to have someone "complete you" and or rely on the other for your happiness. The relationship of mine throughout my twenties was one deep in duality. We relied on each other for our happiness and we both got pissed off when it didn't happen. We were deeply attached to each other emotionally and energetically. When one would experience a bad mood or illness, the other would take it on themselves. --This is another example of what I talk about in my article and video on not letting others negatively affect you.--
When You Are in your Power With Relationships,
You Know Who You Are, What You Want,
& How to Go About Getting it.
When two people in their power meet, it's easy and clear to understand what exactly is going on. Both people are confident with themselves and they don't get hurt if things don't go as expected. In fact there are very few expectations to begin with. These are the type of people that can easily be friends or lovers and not have weird messiness in the way preventing either.
I don't consider myself an expert at relationships just yet but like most subjects I do feel like I get the bigger picture more so than others. This is because of my unique abilities built into me. I have, my entire life, been accessing large concepts and understandings that most others just don't get..or ignore because of projections that are in the way. This unique ability of mine is why I am who I am, how I stand out in the crowd, and how I help so many once they're ready to ask.
You do not need to be an expert at or even understand everything about relationships to attract to you an amazing lover, partner, husband.. whatever you want. But you must be willing to look at and question the lifelong desires of what it is that you think you want out of an intimate relationship with another.
What Do You Want?
Comb through what it is that you think you want from a relationship. Ask yourself why you want what it is you want. Do you want a lifelong monogamous relationship with one person, or could this simply be a projection that you took on from family, religion, or society in general? Many people have strong judgement towards any relationship outside of monogamy. Even in the gay community, where people have fought so hard for equal rights, guys severely judge other guys that have open relationships or practice polyamory. This is so silly!!
I personally want a monogamous relationship but that's simply my preference, not a judgement. I went through a big process of letting go of projections around different types of relationships and it was not until after that process of letting go of judgement towards other kinds of relationships that I realized that I still wanted monogamy. But now my desire is not colored in judgement and I see it simply as a preference ..not as an ew! that's gross to any other option.
Don't Take it so Personal
When two people are both in their power, they aren't offended and don't take it personally when the other wants to do something different. It is common habit to give your power away to your partner or your relationship and everyone does it to one degree or another. Start now by recognizing all the times you've wanted to do something different than someone else but did what others wanted because you felt you should or had to. This is one example of giving your power away, doing what others want, not what you want.
Stay in The Flow & Do What You Want
Being in your power around relationships means you're always in the flow and doing what you want. You attract to you by virtue of what many call the law of attraction, others that want the same as you. The key here is to go off and do other things when your desires differ from those you're around.
A good visual of two people dating that are in their power is lightly holding hands while both are staring at the moon. There's no feeling of needing to stare at the other or hold hands tightly because both are confident and secure with themselves and what they have going on together. They're there to stare at the moon together, not to hold on for fear of loosing them.
Another example of being in your power is to stay in the Now and to say things to the other such as, I like you pretty good, let's see how it goes. As opposed to hey I want to have your babies and go about planning the rest of your lives together on the second date.
Take Control of Your Psychic Abilities
Many of you out there like myself, are extremely psychic and you see, feel, and or hear many many possibilities once meeting a potential mate. If you haven't yet figured out how to filter and control these psychic abilities of yours, you will find that the information gets out of control and confuses you deeply. If this sounds like you, I recommend getting a handle on your abilities before perusing intimate relationships. It will only make everything in your life easier. Watch all my videos and contact me if you want help.
Relationships in general, whether romantic or otherwise, are more often than not, an opportunity to give your power to another, or to take anothers power. But they don't have to be. And as with everything else in your life, it all starts with you. Go within and discover who you are. Let go of who you've been told you are and move beyond what society says is possible or normal.
The Possibilities Are Infinite
You truly have the power within you to create any type of relationship that you desire. Clear all the projections and boxes of limitations from duality and start fresh by having a conversation with yourself as to what it is that you desire and why.
This is the beginning of understanding what is possible with a relationship. More specifics to come in later articles.
I offer personal and group sessions to all that want to move forward to infinite possibilities in their lives. Contact me if interested.
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