Six years ago when I sold my townhouse in Salt Lake City and moved across country to Washington DC, it was very painful to me to let go of much of my belongings. And when I moved to Seattle three years ago it was hard as well but much easier than before.
You see, I grew up the tenth and youngest child of a single mother. We were always dirt poor and however awesome Mom was at making sure we lived in nice neighborhoods, us kids always knew that our choices were limited compared to our friends.
Whenever we lived somewhere long enough to make friends, these friends were usually kids that lived in houses and had two parents at home as opposed to our apartment down the street. I would look at these friends of mine and I would compare myself to them. I judged myself and my family because we never had all the stuff that my friends had.
When I was fourteen I decided I'd had enough of it and I went and found a job close by at a uniform rental company, loading giant washers and folding linens. At fifteen I was working full time and had dropped out of school. My Mom had me going to a christen private school and with the combination of her wanting me to pay for it and me being sick of the crap they were feeding me, I decided I didn't need school at all.
I started working so young because I wanted the same opportunities that I saw other people had. I valued myself and my life on how much and what kind of stuff I had and how much money I made. Since the age of fourteen all through my twenties and up until just last year, I was employed and working full-time hours. I worked my way up the ladder at every job I ever had and I never, not once let the fact that I was a drop out from high school effect me and my career.
I judged myself for dropping out of school and I went and got my GED when I was in my early twenties. The funny thing is that I never studied for it, I showed up, took the test and got high scores on all subjects. I was just proving to myself that I never needed school to get what I want.
After my GED I went to a community college for awhile. I had a 4.0 GPA the entire time I was in school but like high school I didn't last there for very long. I saw through all boxes of limitations and projections the system was offering to me and I got out after I realized that my teachers didn't care about my talents, abilities and innate knowledge that I've always held. They simply cared if I knew what boxes to fill in on the tests.
I have always excelled at anything I've put my mind. In fact up until moving to Seattle I always had a "better" job and made more money than any of my friends. Including my friends that had signed pieces of paper that society calls degrees.
Where I have been going, what I led myself to my whole life thus far, is at the point at which I am now. I played the system, I played with duality and I rocked it. From societal standards I was a success and I knew it. But there was always something missing and I was never truly happy.
I was judging myself and my life by the standards of which society, the media, and pop-culture dictate. And it was not until I began the process of letting go of this attachment towards what society and others think of me, that I was able to truly find what matters to me.
Letting go of my career, letting go of my stuff, and letting go of projections from society and others is what has made it possible for me to find true happiness, to find what matters to me, and to find myself.
Yesterday I had a yard sale at which I had everything I own minus some clothes, up for grabs. All day yesterday I was not only purging physical belongings but I was purging the attachment I had to them and the value system I had placed to my stuff.
My path led me to Seattle to wake up to who I am. I am done waking up and now I move into my next phase. I have been seeing visions of what is to come for months now and just recently started to see much more detail.
When we trust ourselves enough to listen, when we trust enough to let go, we open up doorways and possibilities that we would have never had before. I am letting go of my old life, I am letting go of my stuff because the stuff is not what matters and it never has.
Don't get me wrong, I am not interested in becoming a gipsy and this is not what is happening. What is happening is that I am showing the world what matters, I am showing you that you can let go. And when you do this, when you let go, when you trust, everything plays out perfectly.
I have always known that when I move from this apartment that it will be a smooth transition for all involved and this is already proving to be true on many levels. Four days into knowing my my next step, knowing that I am leaving town, I am far into the process of leaving and only have a few to-do's remaining prior to taking off.
I will be leaving town in a few days with my closest friend and "work" partner. I say work because I don't know what else to call it. I would say spiritual partner but the intense work we've done together has taken us far beyond spirituality, beyond metaphysics, beyond any understanding that has ever been on this planet. And it only makes sense that her and I are leaving town together.
We're not done with each other and I don't think we ever will be. Her and I are the same energy in different bodies and we set this up to be this way. Who we are and how well we complement each other is what makes our work and spreading our message much easier. The two of us have a very large role in this lifetime and it would not be as much fun on our own - this is why there are two.
None of this process has been planed. We simply listen and let the larger us, our energy run the show. This is how you move forward, this is how you move beyond what it is that you believe is possible.
I know that we will take care of ourselves and I know that we will create opportunities and situations into our experiences that will lead us down our paths of what it is that we truly desire. I am looking forward to this journey and I am more excited to move forward than ever before.
Let go of your attachments, step into the flow, trust that everything happens for a reason, and trust that the larger you will take your path towards exactly what it is that you want to experience. Let go of your judgment to yourself and listen. This is how you move forward. This is how you let go of duality. This is how you move into a world where everyone has what they desire, where everyone is Love, and all things are possible.
Read My last post, Letting Go of Duality: