You're Not Crazy, the System Is

Realizing that I have talents to discover and nurture as opposed to believing I'm f**king crazy was the big tipping point for me about six years ago.

After twenty eight years of going to pill-pushing doctors (it's not their fault the system is broken), and while working for the worlds largest association of psychiatric doctors, I learned the system from the inside out and I decided, in my humble opinion, that it's f**ked!

I've been around the block multiple times with psychiatric drugs. My life as a young child was laced with pharmaceuticals such as Ritalin and other drugs I've long forgotten the names of. I was a sick child who dealt with neurological issues basically from birth...epilepsy plagued my childhood until puberty when it would miraculously fade away.

Throughout my teenage years and twenties, and under the guidance of western medical doctors, I "tried out" all of the common psychiatric drugs as well as some not so common.. Oh that one makes you feel like a zombie with no emotions? ...let's try cutting the does in half and adding this other drug to the mix. ...Months later only to do something similar and try try try to find the magic combo of chemicals in a pill that solved my "crazy". This is pretty much how it works and some people NEVER realize that there are other options, other perspectives, other avenues to explore.

The problem is not the drugs, not the pharmaceutical industry, not western medicine, not anything you might think. The problem is humanities seemingly insatiable desire to stay asleep to a larger reality, a reality beyond our limited programming of what we think is possible and what options we may think we have. 

The average person is in habits of believing life works a certain way - they're in a box of limitations they call reality. Because these limits in a sense bring control and order to their mind (if your whole world fits in a shoebox, it's easier to contain and manage...or so the person thinks), the average person does not question the status quo, the standard model.

Psychology has a label for this problem - Cognitive Dissonance. When we are presented with conflicting information that goes against our beliefs of our reality, we often times close down, fight back, or run from the information. ...this works really well for people and industries that profit from you staying ignorant and disempowered.

People are scared (sometimes violently so) of letting go of their sense of control / their perceived reality. This is what many spiritual teachers are referring to when they talk about ego death, as well as the death card in the taro deck.

WHAT IF - think about this -
Metaphorically speaking, what if our reality was likened to a dial on a radio. Not a digital one but the dials we used to have that would slide back and forth... What if your whole life you are told, taught, programmed, and encouraged to believe that ALL of reality is this section of the dial labeled 101.1 through 102.2 FM. Your whole life you're taught about and you intellectualize everything that interests you within the boundaries of 101.1 & 102.2.

This is cool to you and you're comfortable with your sense of self and where you fit in, into this reality between 101.1 & 102.2.

People who are labeled with ANY so-called psychiatric disorder, FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE TO STAY WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF 101.1 thru 102.2 FM.

And guess what?!?! You're not supposed to! You have talents that don't fit into a box and this is the way evolution set it up. You are supposed to rub the system the wrong way, and when you stop fearing and judging yourself, you know that this is your truth. Problem is that this is an uphill battle that takes determination and it's much easier to just give up and fall back into sham. Don't give up! Take a rest and get back up again and try a slightly different angle.

Life gives to you abilities that cannot be contained into the limitations of 101.1 thru 102.2 and because you're not taught tools as a child to utilize the abilities you have, because your abilities are not validated by those around you (often times the opposite is true - being shamed for your talents), you learn to adjust, to close down, and to hide who you are and the "out-of-the-box" talents you have.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You've just been trying to fit a round peg into a square hole your whole life... And because this never works, you go through bouts of depression until one day you surface and try something new.

We live in a dualistic universe where there are two opposing sides to everything. For most, the question is how do I stay away from that end of the spectrum that sucks, that doesn't feel good. The answer is to integrate. To breathe life in and to incorporate rather than shun, allow rather than protect yourself from. This last statement will trigger many but it is the answer to the tormenting, the aggravation, the things that keep swinging back around, back into our lives, until one day we choose to take our power back and refuse to accept that we're broken.

I would dare to so boldly say that it is the "crazy" ones who have and will continue to change the world. These people who are so easily labeled with a "disorder" are the ones who are here to break the mold, to stand up and break through that box of limitations, but first we must accept that it is the system that is broken, not us. We must let go of the self hatred and stop judging ourselves for being weird and different. We must own that we have abilities that others can't even fathom (cognitive dissonance). We must learn to process and to self-regulate our emotions rather than denying, stuffing or avoiding them. We must learn about our vibration and how to successfully stay within the vibrations that we desire. We must learn what balance is and strive for it when needed.

Your Vibration, being cognizant to what it is/ means, managing it and mastering where you are vibrationally, is the most important thing someone who's been offered a mental disorder label, or anyone for that matter, could focus on, learn about and master. We live in a vibrational universe where what we focus on, we get. If you're scared shitless of the visions you receive, the voices you hear, or the feelings you feel... The rule set of this reality answers back and gives to you, experiences to fear.

Oh boy howdy! do I know how hard it can be!!! I have compassion for you because I myself have been there. That place that feels so lonely and desolate. That place of feeling like you're being attacked by forces beyond you. I know what it's like down there. And I also know what it's like to be self-empowered with the abilities that I have. I know what it's like to feel Love beyond measure. I know a larger version of reality than what was offered to me while growing up.

We must dance this dance away from our habits of fearing our abilities and dance into self-empowerment through Love and understanding of who we really are and why we have the abilities to do things or access things that are so far from the norm of our cultures and what's socially acceptable.

I want you to know that I love you. Even if you don't currently love yourself. I believe you are beautiful and you have much to offer this world. We are all unique - all with differences that complement the whole. Our job as humans is to realize our uniqueness and discover through our passions how we can have fun harmonizing with others.

I have been feeling this coming for awhile now.. I will be sharing more about my story and perspective around mental health. Please comment and share. Let me know if there's something you want me to talk about or to go into more detail with. Also, let me know if you'd like to have one-on-one coaching with me to catapult your life. You can do this!

Much Love to You,

Knowledge is power and opening up to other perspectives is how we grow. I like to tell people to take what resonates and throw the rest away, especially with what I say :P perspective changes as I grow too. With that said, here are a few articles with similar perspectives to mine on mental health. Cheers! Don't forget to friend me, follow me n' junk online (-;

What a Shaman Sees in a Mental Hospital

Bipolar? Or Gifted? - The Modern Day Epidemic of Medicated Madness